Monday, November 9, 2009

...... The First Kiss

I grew up in a very catholic household, so catholic that it was impressed upon me that it was a sin to have fun.
Thats a guilt thing that I have had trouble shaking off for my whole life.
Because of this, I always tried hard to be a good girl and would do only things that would meet with the approval of my family. They were my judge and jury.

Because we lived in a remote rural area, I had to go away to boarding school for my education at a very young age. Catholic boarding school of course! All girls. Nuns. It was very very strict. Some of the ridiculous things they taught us was, that it was a sin to hold hands with a boy. In fact they even went as far as telling us that we could get pregnant from holding hands. In reality I think that they were trying to scare us into staying away from boys. We were taught that sex was bad. Most of the girls, like me, hardly ever saw a boy and had no idea how to act around them. Sex actually sounded quite thrilling to most of the girls and we coudn't wait to try it if it was that naughty!!

When I was 13 I met a boy at the school fair, Jon. His sister went to the school and they lived a few blocks away from the school. Jon was my first kiss, behind the science block at school. I was smitten with the idea of being in love and felt so grown up. I also had a friend who lived over the road from the school and even in the strictness, the nuns allowed me out of school grounds to visit my school friend across the road. Naughty me would tell the nuns that I was visiting my school friend but really I was walking the few blocks to Jon's house.

Jon was 14 and went to the catholic boys school across town. He was blonde and very nice looking. When I got to his house we would go to his bedroom, he would close the door and we would lay on his bed and kiss and feel each other through our clothes. Thats all we ever did. Goodness knows what his mother thought we were doing behind closed doors but she never came in.

At the boarding house things were very tense though. Because I was the only girl with a boyfriend, I was the subject of a lot of teasing. I hated it. I only ever wanted acceptance and approval from my peers and it broke me up so much to be picked on all the time. After about 4 months of it, I could not see any way out other than to drop Jon. I gave him no explanation and it probably broke his heart. I was heart broken and missed seeing him too. But life had settled back down again without the relentless teasing by the other girls. They had won and Jon and I were the losers. Thats how I saw it. But, life became easier.

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